Is it bad for your body if you hold in a fart?
Is it bad for your body if you hold in a fart?
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Answer:
It is exceptionaly disadvantageous and seemingly autodestructive to restrain a common phart. Pharts
are comprised of a mixture of moisture, methane gas,
and bits of solid debris from the digestive tract. The
methane gas is by far the most worrisome and
dangerous. Methane can be blocked from release into the atmosphere by the highly motivated and energetic sphincter muscles in some humans. When the exit path is blocked, methane gas becomes pressurized and inflates the lower digestive pathways, or bowels, if you please. Outter garments such as tight Capri Pants and Blue Jeans place further constrictions upon the lower regions of your anatomy incresing the gas pressure.
In public places it is not uncommon to see dinner guests loosening their belts, unfastening the top two buttons of their pants, or even slyly unwrapping their cumberbunds in futile efforts to releive the discomfort of increased methane pressure upon their innards. These efforts are generaly unsuccessful and in rather short periods of time the distressed guests will exit the area and rush to the nearest loo (toilet location). Safely hidden inside the loo our pressurized pals will hasten to remove the necessary garments and utilize the appropriate ceramic appliance therein. Adequately disrobed, the penitent pressurized pal of ours now concentrates on sending
"release" signals down their posterior towards their distraught sphincter muscles. Intense concentration produces violent headaches in fifty to sixty percent of the population. Hence, violent headaches are always closely associated with Phart Preclusion. Relief is obtained only when the offending muscles surrender to the onslaught of directives to 'open sessamee.' Methane gas is just as explosive as its cousins, natural gas, propane gas, and hydrogen gas. The much publicized Graf Zeppelin blimp in Germany, which was inflated to the brim with hydrogen gas, exploded in a gigantic ball of flame when exposed to a static spark, you may recall. And, in similar fashion our phart plagued dinner guest might evaporate in a temultous cloud of smoke and flame if they chose to light a cigarette, ort scratch their dangling paraphenalia during phartial emmination. Therefore, the dangers are real, injury by fire and explosion are certainly possible, and it could happen to some of your best dressed guests and closest associates. Were I one to climb tall buildings, or perch upon the stage, I would post signs everywhere bareing the slogan, "Love New York and Vote for Phree Pharting," or "Take action now; Help save an ****."
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